C10: Qingqing zijin, youyouwoxin

Ding Xuan was really crazy.

Fang Yinggui was as ruthless as he could be with her, from knocking her down to tying her up and taking her to the authorities without mercy, it seemed that he had a grudge against her. If Lu Qing had not done everything she could to stop him, she might have been poisoned.

Duan Xiangxiang's poison was the most serious, so Fang Shi carried her halfway to the yamen and Fang Yinggui fulfilled his promise to cure her, before he could urgently deal with the Lu brothers.

Lu Ziqu's wounds were not serious, and after removing the hidden weapon and using Fang Yinggui's ointment to heal for a few days, he could see the tender flesh emerge and was healthy enough to stay by Lu Qing's bedside to look after him.

Lu Qing's injuries were much more serious.

His blindness was temporary but there was no time to lose. Fang Yinggui expelled 78% of Duan Xiangxiang's toxin and then replaced it with soup, but Lu Qing was even more desperate, so he tried his best to save him, almost risking his own life and only after three days and three nights of Qi transfer, his sight came back out of the ghostly gate, but he also told Lu Ziqu not to remove the bandage for one or two months, as he needed proper rest to regain his sight.

"He will be fine. He's young and strong, he'll be fine for a while."

Fang Shi also helped to comfort him. He even begged his master to allow him to stay longer and cook a nutritious and delicious meal for the two brothers to recover from their injuries. At that moment, Fang Yinggui became sad.

He even said, "Master has also been working hard, so you have to make up for it," before not giving it a thought. As for Ding Xuan, he was not so lucky. Her eyes were definitely ruined, and Fang Yinggui was not kind enough to save her, even destroying most of her martial arts with his internal power. 

Now she was a semi-invalid, locked in a cell and unable to move, she was in a state of madness, sometimes good, sometimes bad, due to Fang Yinggui's cruelty. 

Lu Ziqu visited her once, just when she was feeling better, and was able to get some answers.

It turned out that she and Duan Xiangxiang had been secretly in love with Lu Yun back then. After their travels, Ding Xuan had always thought that Lu Yun would come to marry her, and her initial false promise had come true with repeated thoughts. Therefore, she tried her best to be the head of Duan Zuofang, just so that when Lu Yun came to marry her, she would be worthy of him. Unexpectedly, Lu Yun married someone else. In a fit of rage, she went to Duan Xiangxiang to complain. But Duan Xiangxiang had become a full daughter of the Jianghu in the intervening year, she did not care about the loss of her love, she only regretted it. At that time, she was busy trying to track down the cause of her brother's death, and Ding Xuan's persistence was disgusting, so she had to find an excuse to send Ding Xuan away, but she did not expect Ding Xuan to take the path of revenge 

"Perhaps she was already possessed at that time." Duan Xiangxiang later recalled, hating herself for not being more patient with her at the time.

Ding Xuan then found Lu Yun. At that time, she was glowing with hope for marriage, but Lu Yun fiercely rejected her. She was so angry that she set fire to the house and killed Lu Yun's family, but before she left, she inadvertently left the hairpin Lu Yun had given her. She wouldn't have found it, even if she had looked for it.

"She deserves to die" Fang Yinggui had no sympathy for her.

Lu Ziqu knew this was the end of the matter, Ding Xuan even if she hadn't been sentenced, she was useless, unable to take care of herself except by relying on others, and she had gotten what she deserved. She looked at that once beautiful face and couldn't help but feel a sigh of relief, not that she regretted it, but she didn't feel much pleasure in taking revenge either.

Was it really right to pursue the matter so hard, and what was the meaning of Ding Xuan's claim that Fang Yinggui was also the murderer?

For several nights he fell asleep on the edge of his bed when he was tired of taking care of Lu Qing, yet these thoughts haunted him and never left.

"Qingqing, is it really right for me to do... this?" he was so confused and helpless, but he only dared to show weakness in the darkness of the night. There was no reason to make him more uneasy when Lu Qing had not yet recovered from his injuries.

But who would have guessed that Lu Qing did not sleep at all.

His eyes were covered with a cloth, so that he appeared to be asleep. Lu Ziqu only thought he was asleep because it was dark and he was still, not knowing that Lu Qing had heard his words.

"Brother, may I hold your hand?" Lu Qing reached out his hand to grab it, but got nothing, so he asked.

Lu Ziqu immediately took it. The temperature was a little high. Fang Yinggui had said it was normal to be like this for a few days, so he had to give his body time to recover, but it had been two days and it was still this high, which hurt to see him like this.

"I heard you've been depressed for the past two days, what's wrong? If it's because it's too tiring to take care of me..."

"Don't talk nonsense." Lu Ziqu scolded him gently, "Are you hungry? Or are you thirsty? Is it hot? Look at you all sweaty..."

"Brother." Lu Qing could imagine his face even if he was blindfolded, he must be worried and disturbed, his brow would be furrowed. He couldn't help but touch Lu Ziqu's forehead, and it was indeed wrinkled, which made him laugh out loud, extraordinarily cheerful.

"I'm fine, I don't need anything in particular, but I heard what my brother was saying." His hand was clenched and he released it, like a spoilt child "Brother do you regret it?"

"Well... Qingqing, I'm just... I'm not as happy as I thought I would be. I thought I would be happy when I found the real culprit to avenge my master's death, but ever since Ding Xuan was imprisoned, I haven't had a single moment of happiness, I thought that, if I hadn't insisted on revenge, I wouldn't have left you like this.... When I thought that maybe you would be blinded by this..., I felt so guilty that I couldn't sleep."

The first time he heard these heartfelt words, Lu Qing did not respond immediately, but took her hand and then hugged her in his arms, Lu Ziqu had no choice but to crawl into bed and lie down with him.

"Brother, in fact, I don't want to take revenge," Lu Qing said, no longer lying. He had always thought he couldn't make his brother sad, so he agreed with his desire for revenge, but he didn't really mean it.

"I have very few memories of my father and mother. To me, my brother is my father... brother, brother..."

He felt the person in his arms stiffen in an instant and knew without having to guess that his sincere words had been misinterpreted.

"It's not that I'm not sad or even angry that they were killed, it's just that my brother is more important to me than that."

Lu Qing had lived with him for years, he cared more about his brother's joy and happiness than revenge, and so he was happy to go against his heart just to make him happy.

"If my brother is unhappy, then I think ... maybe your desire for revenge was not the original one, but he had a deeper reason than that?"

Lu Ziqu was so gagged by this question that he couldn't speak.

He wanted revenge so that his master and teacher could rest in peace... but if that was the case, he should have been relieved, so what was it that didn't calm him down?

"I think maybe my brother is doing this for me." Lu Qing spoke with a smile, "You were even willing to trade not taking revenge just so that I would be safe, right? "he said. In the end, he wondered quietly if his face was too red to be true. He was ashamed of such narcissistic and arrogant lies.

This sounded so reasonable that it was impossible to refute it, and there was no better explanation than what Lu Qing thought. Maybe Lu Qing was right, all this persistence and insistence was to make that person understand that it was because of his hatred and revenge that a child who should have lived a happy life had to endure these trials and tribulations, what a deep sin it was, and how much that person's life was worth to pay for it!

Once he thought about it, his chest opened and he was no longer overwhelmed. Lu Ziqu asked him if he would blame himself for being so preoccupied with revenge that he had neglected other things and even the people he should cherish.

 "Yes for my brother from now on," Lu Qing lifted her face and planted a kiss on his lips with her memory and groped, "It's just me."

 "Qingqing... From now on, it's just you, I promise."

That night he fell asleep with Lu Qing in his arms, singing and coaxing him, with kisses through the cotton cloth over his eyes, making Lu Qing yell at him for being so mean. How could he be so funny for not letting it go any further?

"When I'm well, I'll make you beg for mercy," Lu Qing said stubbornly, eliciting a pitying chuckle and more kisses, all of which fell on his heart and warmed it.

After they were cured, Lu Qing's eyes were no longer blurry, they discussed the matter and went to thank and say goodbye to Xu Qingbiao, who had been away from home for over a month and was homesick, and smiled and hugged them, telling him that they would visit him again if they had the chance.

After saying goodbye to Xu Qingbiao, they went to the room where Duan Xiangxiang was staying, but someone else was already inside.

"The poison has subsided" Fang Yinggui was treating Duan Xiangxiang. According to him, the poison was so strong that he had to observe him for half a month before he could be sure that there was no doubt about it.

"What, you still won't let the demon cure you?" asked Fang Yinggui sarcastically when he saw that her eyes were not kind.

"No, I'm grateful to you for visiting me every day for a while, even though I've disagreed with you in the past and even almost hurt you..."

"Well, that's progress." He was unforgiving and his words were bitter.

Fortunately, Duan Xiangxiang was simple, and he had really taken care of her for a while. Thinking back, she only let him stab her a couple of times with his words, which was a bargain.

"I thought you were going to do to me what you did to Ding Xuan?" She coughed twice.

"Why?"

"Don't you hate me, what I did to you before!"

"No." Ignoring her look of surprise, a faint smile appeared at the corners of her mouth, Fang Yinggui was a man who smiled with a lot of charm, at all times, and at this moment he was asking with a handsome face that was enough to charm everyone. 

"I thought you hated me more, like Ding Xuan, otherwise I wouldn't have pursued the matter for eighteen years without any result."

Duan Xiangxiang was silent for a moment, her breathing became shallow and slow, and she looked uncomfortable, although she recovered quickly, she could not escape Fang Yinggui's eyes.

"I hate you," she said. She thought there was no need to hide it at this point, it was a matter of the past. "I hate you and your sister for coming into Yun-ge's life like this. If it wasn't for you two, Yun-ge would probably still be alive today, and maybe... maybe he'd still have a slim chance..."

These must have been Duan Xiangxiang's sincere words.

When he said these words, his eyes flooded with tears, perhaps because he had held them back for ten years, and once they had burst forth they were unstoppable.

"I hate you, but I am grateful." She lifted her head abruptly and let the tears fall instead of wiping them away with a handkerchief, as a lady would do. There were few people in the Jianghu with such an honest temperament. "It is better to break off early from this than to be like Ding Xuan, who ended up in a cocoon of evil and derailed to such a state..."

"That's self-inflicted," said Fang Yinggui, reverting to doing that person who was not sympathetic to self-destruction. "If it wasn't for my sister's victimisation, I wouldn't have been so determined to find the real killer. Now I can finally get a good night's sleep."

"A good night's sleep? What, are you having trouble sleeping?"

"I haven't had a good night's sleep in 18 years, and all my disciples are stupid, so I can't help it..."

At that moment, Fang Shi approached from a distance with a bowl of hot soup and saw them leaning against the door and hesitated to enter, so he was curious and approached, and when they heard that they were going to say goodbye, they smiled bitterly.

"I am afraid it does not suit me to go in," he said Fang Yinggui did not like to be disturbed during his consultations, so all those who accompanied him had to leave, and he himself was also sent to boil the herbs. After that, he was also concerned about Lu Qing's wound. In his heart, he cherished this little brother very much and wanted to look after him carefully. 

"I'm all better, your master said yesterday that I'm fine, although I don't think it's an incredible improvement."

When Fang Shi asked him about that, Lu Ziqu said that yesterday he had said that "finally I didn't have to see his face every day Which was a relief!" It was an unpleasant but true statement.

"I told you, Master is not a bad person, it's just that he's hard for people to understand." Fang Shi laughed.

"He's a good guy that people can't like." Lu Ziqu said.

The three people talked some more before saying goodbye. Fang Shi said goodbye to their master and then they went to the door and knocked. There was an extremely impatient "wait" and the usual "yes" that Fang Shi was used to.

The two would not get to see each other, but only hoped to meet again in the future so that they could actually fulfil their promise of "three glasses of wine".

**

Lu Ziqu stood under a plum tree in full bloom and watched the peach blossoms slide into his palm.

It had been a long time since he had such a peaceful mind.

All those earlier disturbing events had passed with the passage of time, and all that remained was the habit of living from day to day. Lu Ziqu didn't hate his life now, he always liked the peace and quiet.

"Brother."

A hand slipped around his waist and squeezed it gently, then rubbed his head against the back of his neck. Lu Qing's eyes had healed, but after almost losing Lu Ziqu, he had become anxious and wanted to hug him whenever he could, and skin-to-skin contact was the most reassuring vow he could make.

"Are your eyes bothering you today?"

Lu Ziqu reached out and caressed his eyes with concern, and Lu Qing closed them for his touch, murmuring "they feel fine" in a pouty tone.

Lu Qing was not only uncomfortable, but Lu Ziqu was equally alarmed.

The two were in the midst of endless worry and fear as they gradually found their first peace, holding hands, not impetuous or greedy, as calm and peaceful as an old married couple, pausing occasionally to touch and kiss. It was beautiful.

"Have you had breakfast yet?"

"Yes, I have. Brother, your pickled radish is delicious, it goes well with porridge."

"Really? Then we'll pickle some more." Lu Ziqu dropped his hand and raised it again, letting some peach petals fall into his palm, "Don't be so lazy when you go to see your master later, so he'll laugh at you, understand?"

"I don't think daddy will mind," Lu Qing said, laughing, but his deceptive appearance hadn't changed, not one bit.

"If you do as you're told..."

He whispered in Lu Qing's ear, his voice so low that no one else could hear, but Lu Qing blushed at the content, his eyes wide with disbelief.

 "Brother, is it true?"

"Yes."

"No joke?"

"No joke" Lu Ziqu was about to laugh. What kind of guarantee is that, he's like a child!

"Fine, I'll be obedient!"

Seeing that Lu Qing was so easily bought, he took it seriously that he would use this trick to subdue Lu Qing in the future. Then he slapped his hand and told him that it was getting late and he should pay his respects to his master and tell him that his revenge had been done, so that his old man could rest easy. Lu Yun's grave was still there, and the two of them lit incense and spoke silently from their hearts. What he did not tell Lu Qing was that Ding Xuan had said that "Fang Yinggui was also a murderer", and that he no longer intended to pursue the matter, after all, his mother was his sister.

He sure had a hard time all these years, and since he was a great benefactor to both of them, it wouldn't be fair to say it was an exchange of lives for lives, so let's say it was an exchange of merits for demerits.

Lu Ziqu silently raised his eyes and saw that Lu Qing's eyes were still closed, so he felt relieved and silently added a promise in his heart that he would never let Lu Qing know in this life.

In this life and the next, I will treat Lu Qing as my husband and love him for the rest of my life, even if it is the end of my life, it will not be the end of my love.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Lu Qing leaning close to him, not hiding his smile. Lu Qing was always expressing his love with all his might, more openly than Lu Ziqu's introspection, but in the final analysis it was all love, love engraved in his bones.

"Brother, I remember a poem."

"Which one?" Lu Ziqu was surprised that Lu Qing was thinking of poetry.

 "It's... 'Qingqing zijin, youyouwoxin' [1]..." Lu Qing kissed him on the back of his neck, the lingering kiss tickled him a little.

Just as he was about to continue the reciting, he heard Lu Qing whisper another line of poetry, and he was deeply moved, but he couldn't help but whisper a scolding, "Foolish Qingqing."

When a breeze blew on his face, Lu Ziqu bowed his head and took a deep breath, "But for your sake, I've been singing until today," and then the breeze left them hugging and telling each other their feelings in the rare silence.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

The full text of "Brother, Be Gentle" is finished.

GLOSSARY:

[1] comes from the " Book of Songs - Zheng Feng ". This poem writes about a person who waits for his beloved in the tower, so anxious that he walks to and fro, without seeing each other for a day as if three months have passed.

The whole poem has three chapters, using the flashback technique. The first two chapters describe themselves as pregnant with "I". "Qing Qing Zi Jin" and "Qing Qing Zi Pei" refer to the lover's clothes as a substitute for the lover. The clothes and accessories of the other party left such a deep impression on her that she cannot forget him, and she can imagine his love affliction and lingering affection. Cheng Tingzuo in the Qing dynasty believed that the chapter of "Zheng Feng - Zi Jin" was a poem describing the love between lovers. If I don't see myself for a day, about three months later, you can see how enthusiastic he has been.

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